Doing it for ME! :)

barbecue today, and lots of alcohol tonight…OH NO!!!!

uGHHHHH!! I’ve been *trying* to count my calories since the beginning of this week (something I’ve never done before!).  I usually eat about 1400 calories a day, which I think is a little too much considering that I HARDLY exercise anymore. Where the hell has my motivation gone? Seriously, when I get out of bed, it’s a mental battle over whether I should make the 20 min ride to the gym or not. And even working out at home is a struggle for me now too! CRAP CRAP CRAP! I feel like I’m slowly spiraling towards disaster and before I know it I’m going to gain ALL the weight that I worked soo hard to lose back!

 Last night I went out with girlfriends, which I havent done in a while. I had two drinks! AHH! Soo many calories, then I had a dessert. And I totally overate. I had no idea what happened yesterday but the whole day I just snapped and went crazy eating everything in sight. I really binged, ate three eggrolls, brownie, 2 scoops of ice cream and many, many other fatty things….wow. What happened to me!? Food is and has always been something I struggled with, and it always wins! Yesterday really proved that to me I had like 1 1/2 cups of passion fruit vodka, then at the bar had a vodka cranberry drink. Anyone know how many calories are in these drinks? I’m having a headache trying to figure it out. Needless to say, I went WAYYYYYYYY over my calorie limit yesterday, which is 1200-1550 calories/day. I think i consumed 3,000 calories, if not more yesterday! SHIT! How to undo this damage…………………